Information Announcement

SEATBELTS ARE MANDATORY ON ALL ROADS FROM THURSDAY, 01 JUNE 2006.

also

If you are missing a bike the Royal Falkland Islands Police advise you to give them a call on 27222. They have about 20 bikes that have been turned in. Sergeant Roberts says one bike is worth quite a bit of money and is sure someone would like to have it back.

Tough on crime, tough on the causes of crime.
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Finland Mirror the Smoke

Today, in the middle of the European Unions extended 'period of reflection', we see the launch of the website of Finland's EU Presidency



The site reports:

The visual designs for Finland's EU Presidency reflect the dynamic changes underway in the Union, and represent the way the values of the enlarged EU dovetail together to form a unified whole.

The design concept describes growth and development, a new direction forward, and the Finnish way of attending to matters in an open and direct manner. The logo draws inspiration from the lines and colours of the Nordic landscape. It depicts cooperation among the Member States of the European Union and their aspiration to debate and make decisions on matters of common interest.

The logo suggests the green of a burgeoning forest, the sweep of the horizon and the blue of water shimmering the sun. The contemporary feel to the point on the right-hand side symbolises progressive Finnish thinking and seems to point the way forwards. The transparency of the design conveys openness.

And I always thought PROPAGANDA was supposed to be subtle
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The last words of The Croquet Player

I looked him in the face, firmly but politely. I said, "I don't care. The world may be going to pieces. The Stone Age may be returning. This may, as you say, be the sunset of civilization. I'm sorry, but I can't help it this morning. I have other engagements. All the same--laws of the Medes and Persians--I am going to play croquet with my aunt at half-past twelve today."

The Croquet Player by H. G. Wells
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Prezza turns Tory

Photographs of John Prescott playing croquet on Thursday at his official country mansion were published last night as it was revealed that Labour MPs aim to force him from office. Backbenchers are angered over his extramarital affair and refusal to give up his perks and are demanding that Prescott quits.

One senior Labour backbencher said: "He is making us look like Tories."



Paul Clark, Mr Prescott's parliamentary private secretary secretary, later claimed that the game on the lawns of Dorneywood was part of a GWB "away day".

There has been no comment from Tory leader David Cameron


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Patricia Hewitt in hot water

It has been revealed, that hundreds of mentally-ill foreign offenders have been released from secure hospitals without being considered for deportation,

At least 250 of the people reportedly released from hospitals including Broadmoor, Rampton and Ashworth should have been considered for deportation, while others may have faced removal depending on their immigration status.

All patients at Broadmoor, Rampton etc are detained under the Mental Health Act , which is a Department of Health Competence , not as being reported, the Home Office.

Credit where credit is due. It should be remembered that Patricia Hewitt took over the Department of Health from the current Home Secretary, John Ried, in May 2005.
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EU foreign nationals

To Rt. Hon.Geoff Hoon MP and Rt. Hon. John Reid
Minister for Europe and Home Secretary
House of Commons
Westminster
London
SW1A OAA

OPEN LETTER

Dear Rt. Hon. Mr.Hoon and Rt. Hon.Mr. Reid,

In view of the latest revelations from the Home Office regarding who should and should not be in our country, we are prompted to write expressing our concerns and we require answers to a number of questions on this subject. We will be writing individually to our respective MPs as protocol requires, but feel as though the matter is so important that the public at large are made aware immediately so that they too can bring the matter to the attention of their own Member of Parliament.

We are becoming increasingly aware and concerned of the consequences of the Single European Act, the cornerstone of the European Project, and other subsequent Treaties agreements and directives. In particular, a most serious concern is the right of the ‘free movement of people’ throughout the 25 (soon to become 27) Member States of the European Union.

The public, along with the press and media, appear to be waking up to what is taking place in this country as a direct consequence of our membership of the European Union.

No doubt the European Commission and the British Government will argue that this disastrous state of affairs requires more integration. We think however, that there will be increasing demands from the British public that we reassert proper control over our borders.

The subject of illegal immigration is a completely separate one to the free movement of people. We hope that you do not confuse the two issues.

We wish therefore to submit a number of practical questions.

We would be grateful if you both could address the questions raised.

The unacceptable situation of foreign nationals committing serious crimes in our country and then being allowed continued circulation with the general public on release from prison, has brought the press and media and public opinion to boiling point.

I hope you also agree that this state of affairs is unacceptable.

However, we believe that there is an even bigger problem that, as yet, has not even been addressed.

So in view of this unravelling situation would you both, as the relevant Ministers please provide answers to the following questions:

1. Can Britain deport EU foreign nationals, in view of the right of ‘free movement,’ which the Single European Act and other agreements confers on all EU member state citizens?

2. If the answer is yes, how can such people be prevented from re-entry? EU member state passport holders, it appears, can enter the UK on the same status as UK citizens returning home, and in the same queue. For your information:

Free movement of people is a basic pillar of the single area the European Union (EU) has been building since its creation…

…the notion of "free movement" is used in two senses. First, in the traditional sense of free movement and secondly in the sense of being able to cross the internal borders without undergoing checks.

Source: Free movement within the EU - a fundamental right

3. Have any steps been taken to prevent known criminals from EU countries entering the UK? Is there a central register of everyone who has committed a serious criminal offence in any EU Member State?

4. Do UK authorities have records of people entering the UK who have been convicted of paedophilia or any sexual offence in their own country?

5. Are these people placed on the National Sex Offenders’ Register? I hope this question has a positive answer. It is simply unthinkable that a Government would admit such people within the ‘free movement of people,’ but at this moment in time it is far from clear how any exclusion is possible.

6. Within all of the treaties and agreements made over the last 33 years, has any provision been made to control and prevent Europe’s criminal class entering other countries undetected, with the obvious serious consequences for public safety?

7. Considering the right conferred on EU foreign nationals to enter this country, are records available identifying crime levels committed by those who can enter without, it appears, restrictions?

8. If we accept that the Government’s first responsibility is to safeguard its citizens, how can it surrender its duty to know who is in the country by allowing anyone with an EU passport absolute, unchallenged entry?

9. How many people have taken advantage of 'free movement' since the 10 accession countries joined the EU on May 1st 2004 and how many of those had criminal convictions for sex offences?

We would appreciate a prompt reply to these questions and I really implore you for straight answers.

I look forward to your response.

Yours sincerely,

Neil Herron and Colin Moran
The People’s No Campaign
12 Frederick Street
Sunderland
SR1 1NA

New Labour Logo

Official Announcement



The Labour Party today announced that it is changing its emblem from a Rose to a Condom because it more closely represents the Labour governments political stance.

A condom allows for inflation, stops production, stifles the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and yet gives you a sense of security whilst you are actually being screwed.

It brings a Teardrop to your third eye.
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Early Day Motion 2224

A Tory MP has today written to Labour chair, Hazel Blears, demanding an apology for the party's "monumental lack of judgment" in raising funds by auctioning a copy of the Hutton report signed by Cherie Blair (Booth).

The party had raised money through selling a signed copy of the official report into the events surrounding the suicide of the government scientist Dr David Kelly.



EDM 2224

That this House notes that senior members of the Labour Party including hon. Members and Government Ministers attended a party fundraising event last week at the Arts Club in Mayfair; further notes that a copy of the official report by Lord Hutton into the death of Government scientist Dr David Kelly, signed by Ms Cherie Booth QC, was auctioned for party funds raising £400; believes this conduct to be in appalling bad taste, arrogant and crassly insensitive in seeking to make money, albeit indirectly, through hawking, as a novelty item, an official Government report into the death of a public servant; regrets the distress caused to the family and friends of the late Dr Kelly; calls on the Labour Party to apologise for such tasteless and offensive conduct and to donate the money raised to an appropriate charity; and deprecates such conduct by hon. Members.
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Cameron backs Prescott's work ethic

David Cameron has said the old Protestant work ethic should be replaced by a "modern vision of ethical work". He said the government should not regulate the specific details of working life but should seek to shape working conditions through a mix of "education, sponsorship, exhortation, cultural change and leadership".

He went on: "It's time we admitted that there's more to life than money and it's time we focused not just on GDP [gross domestic product] but on GWB: general well-being."
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guilty until you prove yourself innocent

Nearly 1,500 innocent people have been wrongly labelled as criminals because of errors by the Home Office’s Criminal Records Bureau.

The Mail on Sunday reported that the mistakes had seen ordinary people – from court ushers to students – wrongly identified as pornographers, thieves and violent robbers.

In some cases, the paper said, people had been turned down for jobs or university places while others had had to be fingerprinted at their local police station to prove that they were not criminals.



The Prime Minister Tony Blair is expected to say that ID Cards will sort this problem out. Article 14 of the Human Rights Act is to blame. We, as a government, are not allowed to discriminate, so you are all guilty until you prove yourself innocent.
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4 envelopes

The new Home Secretary John Ried walks into his office and, while settling into his new desk, finds 4 envelopes. On one he finds the words “open me first,” and the other three are numbered 1 to 3.

He opens the first envelope and finds a letter from his predecessor Charles Clarke saying: “These three envelopes will save you a world of trouble. In case of emergency, please open these envelopes in sequential order; envelope one first, envelope two second, and envelope three third.”

John Ried shrugs, puts the envelopes back, and forgets about them.

One week later, the figures issued by his predecessor about foreign prisoners were proved to be incorrect. The opposition call him to account and the governments standing takes another tumble at the polls.

After a long night negotiating with his errant staff and a policeman in Portsmouth, he remembers the 3 envelopes. So he opens the first one and it says: “Blame me, your predecessor for every thing”.

Wonderful idea he thinks, and indeed it works and the crisis comes to its end. His job is saved, and everybody's happy.

A few days later, another systemic failure is discovered, in that Illegal Immigrants have been working in his very own immigration department. He goes to the drawer and opens the second envelope. It reads, “Blame the opposition for the privatisation of government services when they were in power, the contractors are to blame for everything”.

It works like a charm, and he breathes a sigh of relief as his job is, once again, saved.

A few days later there was another revelation, even worse than cash for peerages. It was discovered that his staff had been requesting sex for asylum. John Ried goes to the third envelope and it reads, “Prepare 4 new envelopes”.
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get each other babe

Today leaders from around the world welcomed the formation of an Iraqi government under Prime Minister Nuri Al Malik, the first full-term administration since Saddam Hussein was ousted in 2003.

Margaret Beckett said she congratulated the Iraqi people on the government and offered support for the challenges it faces.



They say we're young and we don't know
We won't find out until we grow

Well I don't know if all that's true
'Cause you got me, and baby I got you

They say our love won't pay the rent
Before it's earned, our money's all been spent

I guess that's so, we don't have a pot
But at least I'm sure of all the things we got

I got a grenade.. babe
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Illegal Immigrant Amnesty

Harriet Harman's husband, Jack Dromey who is the deputy general secretary T&G union, is calling for an Amnesty for Illegal immigrants.

Let me remind you Mr Dromey, all illegal immigrants are Criminals and it is an offence to harbour illegal immigrants, that includes the T&G union who extract money from them in subscriptions.

They are criminals by the very fact that they are in this country unlawfully. The very first act on entering the country illegally is to break the law. If they out stay their VISA they have broken the law. If they are now working they are breaking the law. If they used false documents to get a job they have broke the law. By breaking the law they have demonstrated that they are deceitful and untrustworthy.

Yes, Jack, we need an Illegal Immigrant Amnesty

Close shop and hand in your Illegal Immigrants today.
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Make yourself at Home Office

Five illegal immigrants have been arrested under the Immigration Act while working as cleaners in the Home Office,

They were working as cleaners in an office of the Immigration and Nationality Directorate - the Home Office department responsible for the removal of illegal immigrants from the UK. BBC

Makes you wonder if the Home Office use the same cleaning contractors at the Passport office. It would explain the loss of 1500 passports

I guess there will be no Knighthood or other Honour for Rory Forrester
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Vote early, vote often

Europe United would like to know "Should EU have its own asylum policy"? In fact they would like you to vote, why not pop across and indulge in the new British voting tradition.

Vote early, vote often, delete your cookies and vote again. Vote
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194.60.38.# hpux12x.parliament

"Are you a politician asking what your country can do for you or a zealous one asking what you can do for your country? If you are the first, then you are a parasite; if the second, then you are an oasis in a desert."
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political crisis that would affect our membership of the EU

Look at the number of areas in which European Union jurisdiction is specified: competition, trade, asylum and immigration, foreign affairs, industrial policy, agriculture, fisheries, energy, transport, regional government, consumer health, social and employment policy, justice and home affairs.

The list goes on and on. In fact, it is easier to make the point the other way around by asking how many Whitehall ministries would be left fully in control of their own affairs. The answer is one: the Department of Health.

Wrong, not any more

Today the European Court of Justice has given its backing to a British grandmother in her battle to get reimbursed for a hip operation carried out in France.

The Luxembourg-based court ruled that patients facing an undue delay in obtaining treatment on the NHS should be reimbursed if they choose to have the operation performed elsewhere in the European Union. The Times

Hansard 30 Mar 2004 : Column 1498

Mrs. Gwyneth Dunwoody (Crewe and Nantwich) (Lab): Will my right hon. Friend clarify a matter that concerns me? If, in the course of demands for harmonisation, it was decided that the principle that the national health service should be free at the point of use was incompatible with health systems throughout the Community, which rely almost entirely on insurance-based schemes that are differently organised so that up-front payment is essential, would we be able to retain our system, or would we be told that it was incompatible owing to European law?

Mr. Straw: I very much doubt that that would ever happen. In any event, the issue of primacy is not affected by the draft treaty. Let me be clear, however, that if the European Court of Justice sought to do that, there would be a political crisis that would affect our membership of the European Union and be a matter for concern for all Members on both sides of the House.
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Best Year Ever

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Drop the Human, an all right Act

Tony Blair is expected to say today "the public service most removed from what reasonable people want", is the criminal justice system.



Oh how true you are Tony, step forward and take a bow

There is no Labour in Justice


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Human Rights, what an Act

When the High Court gave nine men who hijacked a plane from Afghanistan to London leave to stay in Britain last week. Tony Blair and David Cameron both blamed the 1998 Human Rights Act.

Tony Blair now wants new legislation to limit the power of courts to interpret the Human Rights Act when that means overruling government.

So what would happen if we ratified the European Union Constitution

Under the principle of conferral, the Union shall act within the limits of the competences conferred upon it by the Member States in the Constitution to attain the objectives set out in the Constitution. Competences not conferred upon the Union in the Constitution remain with the Member States.

Article I-9 Fundamental rights

1. The Union shall recognise the rights, freedoms and principles set out in the Charter of Fundamental Rights which constitutes Part II.

2. The Union shall accede to the European Convention for the Protection of Human Rights and Fundamental Freedoms. Such accession shall not affect the Union's competences as defined in the Constitution.

3. Fundamental rights, as guaranteed by the European Convention for the Protection of Human Rights and Fundamental Freedoms and as they result from the constitutional traditions common to the Member States, shall constitute general principles of the Union's law.

So is Tony Blair, now going to have that promised referendum on the EU Constitution and when is David Cameron going to fulfil his promise to pull the Conservative party out of the federalist EPP.

Mirror the Smoke fellow subjects, Mirror the Smoke
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Voting Blue gets Ugly

David Cameron's "A-list" to change the face of the Tory Party by fielding more women and ethnic minority candidates at the next election has put a number of Conservative noses out of joint.



"There is no easy way of doing this," he said. "I don't support all-women shortlists because I think it is a step too far for a party that is meritocratic."But I know we have to deal with the problem of the under-representation of women in the Conservative Party. We have to take steps, I think these are the right steps, but inevitably it means difficult decisions for some people."
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"Europe of results"

The European Union Commission is expected to present a paper for the June Council today (10 May). The EU leaders will discuss the future of the constitution during their European Council in Brussels on 15-16 June.



We have had our period of reflection and we don't like the result So we will dig up the corps of the EU Constitution and you will be forced to vote again and again until we get the right result.
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will you do the fandango

Whilst listening to the radio 4 'today program' this morning, I was reminded by the Rt (dis)Hon Douglas Alexander MP, Minister for Implementing EU Transport Policy, about road charging.

He says he wants a debate about road charging in the UK, but fails to mention that this is an EU initiative and when the EU Commission dictates he is only there to implement their edict.

Road charging is the reason why the EU is pushing the Galileo satellite system.

Your Car of the future

Car: where would you like to go. 'Enter destination'

Driver: 'Bournemouth'

Car: 'Business or Pleasure'

Driver: 'Business'

Car: The best time to travel will be 6 pm, stopping for one hour at Channock Richard service station. and refuelling at Oxford after the Blue Ford reg YFI 654 BINGO. Cost of road access EUR 23. Press 'Y' to accept 'N'' for decline.

Driver: presses 'Y'

Car: Please insert your National ID card

Driver: inserts ID card

Car: According to your NHS Records you are currently taking cough medicine, your last scheduled dosage was 1 hour ago. Journey Authorisation Declined. Would you like us to recalculate. Press 'Y' yes, 'N' no

Driver: 'Y'

Car: Based on your Medication, the best time to make the journey is 3 AM, Stopping for 1 hr at Knutsford Service area, Refuelling at Oxford after the Pink Honda reg YFI 123 LOTTERY (note 10 mins refuel time only) cost of road access EUR 43. Y' to accept 'N'' for decline.

Driver: 'Y'

Car: According to your Bank Account Records your spouse has just purchased a pair of shoes. You have insufficient funds to make this journey. Journey Authorisation Declined. would you like us to arrange a bank loan. Press 'Y" yes, 'N' no.

Driver: 'Y'

Car: According to our Records, this is not possible at this time, you have reached your loan on disposable income limit, Would you like us to sell your Laptop on EBay. Press 'Y' yes, 'N' no

Driver: 'Y'

Car: We are about to list your Laptop s/no 23456543, would you like us to format the disk before the sale (+ EUR 10) Press 'Y" yes, 'N' no.

Driver: 'N'

Car: Can we remind you that you have one authorised pornography picture of you and your spouse and a letter to your authorised mistress on the PC, are you sure you don't want us to erase this information. Press 'Y' yes, 'N' no

Driver: 'Y'

Car: We have deleted those files and your PC is now listed (+ EUR 10)

Car: The sale was successful, your PC sold for EUR 100, you can now proceed. Press 'Y" yes, 'N' no

Driver: 'Y'

Car: The sale of your laptop has increased your gross annual personal income, you now have to pay 60% tax on future income.

Car: Have a nice day
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Classic 'Grow the Roses'

Click on the image, sit back and enjoy

European Union fire brigade

Austrian leader Wolfgang Schussel said today a European Union fire brigade could help revive the EU constitution.

The pro-consitution chancellor set out his stall in a Brussels debate on the future of Europe just five weeks before the Austrian presidency chairs a 15-16 June summit set to be dominated by the frozen EU charter. Euobserver



Select Committee on Office of the Deputy Prime Minister: Housing, Planning, Local Government and the Regions Memorandum by Commander Bryan G Smalley RD DL RN (RG 11)
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A win win situation for the tories.

If the conservative party had their wits about them they would now table a parliamentary motion of no confidence in the Prime Minister. The motion is passed or rejected by means of a parliamentary vote.

Governments often respond to a Motion of No Confidence by proposing a Motion of Confidence which, according to parliamentary procedure in the Westminster system, takes precedence and so replaces the Motion of No Confidence.
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Beckett Heads for New York

Izzy Wizzy Caption Competition

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Police investigate Prescott

Scotland Yard is looking into a complaint that Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott has broken the law by allegedly having sex with his secretary in his Whitehall office.

The formal complaint - in letter form - was sent to the Metropolitan Police Commissioner Sir Ian Blair by Glaswegian Alistair Watson.

Mr Watson, a retired police officer, cited the case of a Greater Manchester police officer who was sentenced to 200 hours' community service after he had sex with a woman three times at her home while he was on duty.

More in the Sunday Times tomorrow
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hand over powers to Brussels

A UK government official announced on Thursday (4 May) that the government was looking into lifting its veto right on EU police and judicial co-operation to help the fight against cross-border crime, signalling a possible u-turn from its traditional reluctance to hand over powers to Brussels. EUobserver

So who was this UK official? Was he from the Home Office or the Foreign and Commonwealth Office, and was he reshuffled yesterday?
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Keeping an eye on the ball

STATISTICS RELEASE: INSOLVENCIES IN THE FIRST QUARTER 2006

COMPANY LIQUIDATIONS
There were 3,439 liquidations in England and Wales in the first quarter of 2006. This was an increase of 7.6% on the previous quarter and an increase of 17.0% on the same period a year ago.

INDIVIDUAL INSOLVENCIES
There were 23,351 individual insolvencies in England and Wales in the first quarter of 2006. This was an increase of 12.9% on the previous quarter and an increase of 73.4% on the same period a year ago.

LABOUR GOVERNMENT MORAL BANKRUPTCY
Still running at 100%

Prescott sacked but still living at tax payers expense



So what the 'dicking's' is this deputising role?
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Shuffle, Reshuffle, Misdeal

Tony Blair is set to reshuffle his Cabinet this morning after Labour suffered a drubbing in local council elections.



Time to change the whole pack
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Put a Pony in my Pocket

Peter Hain, the NI & Welsh Secretary, has denied allegations that he offered a rebel Labour politician a peerage not to stand against the party.
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5.08 centimetres = pound of flesh

The Labour Government has chosen not to extend the exemption to Directive 1999/103/EC through the provisions of The Weights and Measures (Metrication Amendments) Regulations 2001 beyond December 31, 2009.

The only imperial measurements to be allowed in the UK after December 31, 2009 will be the mile, the pint for draught beer and milk, the acre and Troy ounces for silver.



Whether you measure in Imperial or metric. Pezza's todger will remain 5.08 centimetre long
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Today

At Runnymede, at Runnymede,
What say the reeds at Runnymede?
The lissom reeds that give and take,
That bend so far, but never break,
They keep the sleepy Thames awake
With tales of John at Runnymede.

At Runnymede, at Runnymede,
Oh, hear the reeds at Runnymede:
'You musn't sell, delay, deny,
A freeman's right or liberty.
It wakes the stubborn Englishry,
We saw 'em roused at Runnymede!

When through our ranks the Barons came,
With little thought of praise or blame,
But resolute to play the game,
They lumbered up to Runnymede;
And there they launched in solid line
The first attack on Right Divine,
The curt uncompromising "Sign!'
They settled John at Runnymede.

At Runnymede, at Runnymede,
Your rights were won at Runnymede!
No freeman shall be fined or bound,
Or dispossessed of freehold ground,
Except by lawful judgment found
And passed upon him by his peers.
Forget not, after all these years,
The Charter signed at Runnymede.'

And still when mob or Monarch lays
Too rude a hand on English ways,
The whisper wakes, the shudder plays,
Across the reeds at Runnymede.
And Thames, that knows the moods of kings,
And crowds and priests and suchlike things,
Rolls deep and dreadful as he brings
Their warning down from Runnymede!

Rudyard Kipling
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Knee Jerk, Jerk

So Charlie the Safety Elephant is set to announce plans to strengthen the law on deporting foreign prisoners. He wants foreign nationals convicted of imprisonable offences to automatically be considered for deportation.

Questions

Will this include those people from European Union Countries?

What Border Controls will be put in place to prevent them from returning at another date?



Automatic deportation for EU nationals convicted of criminal offences in the UK are specifically prohibited by EU Directive 2004/38, which states that ‘Expulsion orders may not be issued by the host Member State as a penalty or legal consequence of a custodial penalty’.

"Article 33 of the directive prevents the automatic removal of those convicted of offences, and whilst it does allow for deportation as a sanction, the blanket use of deportation orders is prohibited by the Directive, which specifically states: 'Justifications that are isolated from the particulars of the case or that rely on considerations of general prevention shall not be accepted'. The Directive entered into force on the 30th April 2006.

Smoke and Mirrors
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Was Prescott's Wood Legal

If the Mail on Sunday had printed the unexpurgated version of Tracey Temple's diary, it would reveal that there are apparently references to the Deputy Prime Minister's use of Viagra

Viagra can only be obtained legally in the UK by prescription from your GP;

The drug is widely available on the internet to import from other countries. As soon as it reaches the UK, however, it becomes illegal;

UK law prohibits possession of unprescribed Viagra, or possession with intent to supply.

The Medicines Act 1968
The Misuse of Drugs Act 1971
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Debbie eat your heart out!

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