Starving Africans

do we really give a fuck?

FIFA New Managing Director

Christine Lagarde.

EUOPOLY

(click on image to enlarge)

This one is copyright. The European Union Commission, Parliament or any other European Union Institution has no right to use this idea.

Clown in the Dark

The circus elephant in the room

There is nothing funny about a clown in the dark.

I would rather contract AIDS than accept anything from Nick Clegg

I would rather contract AIDS than accept anything from Nick Clegg

A Public Information Announcement

Cabinet Office minister Francis Maude has announced that the government is to close its Central Office of Information (COI) with the loss of Joe and Petunia's jobs.



The COI will be closed by next April in a list of reforms aimed at improving the effectiveness and efficiency of government communications.

Oh look, here comes an angry farmer

och aye fascists

Scotland's First Minister Alex Salmond has demanded an apology from a senior Labour MP for describing his party of government as "neo-fascist".Ian Davidson used the term during a debate on the Scotland Bill



I agree with Alex Salmond, the Scottish National Party are not neo-fascists.

They are just your plain old fashioned fascists.

New Road Layout Ahead

A conflict of interest he can't refuse

Read about it Here

The Riddle for the Sphincter

In modern day mythology, the Sphincter sits in Brussels and asks a riddle to all who pass by. If they fail to solve the riddle, the Sphincter kills them, and if the passerby answers the riddle correctly, then the Sphincter will destroy itself.



The riddle:

"What is worth five times more in the morning, three in the afternoon and "fuck all" at night?"

The new Oedipus seems to have solved the riddle.

acropolis now

Angela Merkel has warned that private finance must take a hit as part of the rescue plan, but the scale of the crisis in Greece is bringing her round to the idea of a bigger state input.



"We will do everything to maintain the euro and its stability as a whole."

Ritula Shah

How does she pronounce 'autobahn'?

George Papandreou: "I won't come in your mouth"

This time last year the Greek Prime Minister George Papandreou promised that he would “change” debt-stricken Greece. Otherwise, “we’ll be back here at the edge of the precipice again some years down the road”

Today, Greece is again at the edge of the precipice -- and so is Papandreou, who is hanging onto his job by his fingertips.

From the Oracle of Delphi

"Without the euro there is no European Union"

Black Hole

You can lead a trojan horse to water

The Anglo-saxon Chronicle has learned that the Greek prime minister George Papandreou has offered to stand aside.

As thousands took to the streets to protest a second round of austerity measures on Wednesday, Prime Minister George Papandreou proposed to step aside so that his Socialist party could form a coalition government with the center-right opposition, but only if it would support a new bailout for the debt-ridden country.



Greece's economy is drowning in more than 300bn euros of debt – around one and a half times bigger than the country's entire annual output. Unemployment has rocketed to 16.2 percent, and the economy is predicted to contract by as much as 3 percent this year, making it Europe's worst performing economy – and one of the worst in the world.

Hempen Rope is Green

Wind farm operators are paid large subsidies, with more than £500 million going on wind power last year under the Renewables Obligation, the Government’s mechanism for supporting renewable energy. The average turbine is understood to generate power worth about £150,000 a year, but is awarded incentives in the form of subsidies worth £250,000. Telegraph



This is the main reasons that households will see an average increase of £175 in their electricity bills, over the coming months.

It's easier for a trojan horse to pass through an eye of a needle, than for the European Union to admit defeat on the Euro

Greece is now only two notches away from Standard & Poor's (S&P) benchmark default rating after its credit rating was cut to CCC, the lowest in the world.


(click on image to enlarge)

Greek sovereign debt is now rated below Ecuador, Jamaica, Pakistan and Grenada.

Wayne and Tracy

Wayne and Tracy reach their nineties and are both having problems remembering things. During a NHS check-up, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to give up smoking and drinking and to start writing things down to help them remember  ..  

Later that day, while having a drink, smoking and watching the television, Wayne gets up from his chair. 'do you want anything while I'm in the kitchen sweetie?' he asks.  

'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'  

'Ok.…'  

'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' Tracy asks.  

'No, I can remember it.'  

'Well, dear, I would like some strawberries, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?'
 
Wayne says, 'I can remember that, do you think I am senile. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'  

'I would also like whipped cream on it too. I bet you will forget that, write it down?' Tracy asks.  

Irritated, Wayne says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for fuck sake!'  

Wayne toddles off into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, Wayne returns from the kitchen and hands Tracy a plate of bacon and eggs.… She stares at the plate for a moment.  

'Where's my toast?'

SANDY BOTTOMS

2 Wetters = 1 Sippers
2 Sippers = 1 Gulpers
2 Gulpers = 1 Sandy Bottoms

SANDY BOTTOMS = A rare privilege, being invited to see off a friends entire tot

I don't know if Her Majesty has issued the order to splice the mainbrace. But She has promoted the prince to the office of the Lord High Admiral

Happy Birthday Prince Philip

2012 Olympic Torch

Olympic torch ignites row over Games' green credentials

In November 2007, amid a welter of other legacy promises attached to the Olympic Games, EDF promised to develop the first low-carbon torch as a symbol of its commitment to green energy.



Unveiling the design of the Olympic torch, London 2012 chairman, Lord Coe, admitted that the sponsor EDF had failed

Really, you just couldn't make this stuff up

European Commission - Press release

"For the first time ever, the design of a euro coin in general circulation will be chosen by a public web vote on the basis of proposals submitted by citizens from all euro-area countries. This is an opportunity for everyone living in the euro area to help choose the design of their own currency. The winning motif will appear on millions of euro coins that will circulate throughout the euro area from the beginning of 2012." said Olli Rehn, European Commissioner for Economic and Monetary Affairs.

Well here is my 10 years of the euro – commemorative coin design

He thought it was all over.

It is now
lawyers4losers.con

Newsnight (the old soldier)

IF I should die, think only this of me;  
  That there's a corner in some shitty, pissed staind old peoples home  
That is for ever England. There shall be  
  In that shit a richer shit concealed;
All hail the dust of this welfare state
Gave once, took much, nowhere to roam,
Old bodies of England breathing feted air,
Unwashed by the carers, blest by none at home.

And think, this heart, all love shed away,  
  No pulse in the eternal mind, no less
Takes something back the thoughts by England given;  
Her sights and sounds; dreams happy as her day;  
And laughter, learnt of friends; and gentleness,  
    In hearts no peace, under this English hell.

I could go to jail for what you are thinking.

Talent, what talent.
I did not suck uncle Simon's cock
However, I do wonder if a high court judge will issue a 'gagging order'

EU Coli

Probably an infection from handling dodgy currency.

Lawyers4losers.con

lawyers4losers.con

Sleazeballs Jet

José Manuel Barroso, the president of the European commission, racked up a €249,000 bill for private jets during the same period he attended the 2009 UN convention on climate change. Telegraph



The study also showed the continued lack of transparency in how the commission spends its money. More than €42m of transfers to "natural persons" – individuals, whose names the commission keeps private –

In other words Backhanders and Bribes

Was the BBC complicit in torture

The BBC has been so full of itself today, but I think the BBC was complicit in torture.

Why did the Panorama guy not intervene on the very first incident, over what period of time did the man from the BBC witness torture without intervening? Is it right to film torture of individuals over time in order to boost your viewing figures.

and you paid, under threat of law to watch.....................

It would be just like Leni Riefenstahl doing a a post 1945 Exposé on the mistreatment of individuals in Belsen.