Cometh the hour

"Tony Blair dismisses polls"‎

Metaphor

Car crashes close to Labour Party poster launch‎

Not Labour

Home ownership is a con

I don't want to own my own home. WHY...

Let's look at the issue of equity as a component of wealth. Let's say you buy a £100,000 home and put money down. That down payment is 20%. In real terms at the time of closing you have 20% equity in your home.

If you had £20,000 in your bank account, you had £20,000 in wealth. If you move that money to your home in the form of a down payment, you may have £20,000 in wealth as long as the market stays flat. For this illustration, we will say that is the case. You have £20,000 wealth stored in your home. Now what can you do with that?

If you borrow against your home, you erode your equity and your wealth. If you sell your home and get your £20,000 back, then what? You have to live somewhere and living somewhere costs money. The equity in your home is essentially dead. You cannot do anything with it. Sell your house and you reinvest that money into a new home, borrow against your equity and you lose it.

In short, the equity in your home, once in your home, will remain there. Useless to you in real terms. That equity will do something that is quite dangerous, It will cause you to feel wealthy, wealthier in fact than you are and you will then spend money, money that you, in reality don't have.

Oh yes....nearly forgot. the government will tax you on your purchase with stamp duty and then indulge in the act of necrophilia upon you corps with inheritance tax. Not forgetting, in the mean time, if your home has a delightful vista of the church yard where you are to be buried then, the local council will demand a further % of your wealth in council tax.

Are you thinking what Gillian is thinking

Do a 50-50 or ask the audience, better still just call a friend.

Britain's Everyday Heroes

Gordon Brown says he is a 'penitent sinner'

And Jesus said unto him : Verily, I say unto thee, 'Son of the Manse' your buggered, this is your Paradise."

Cameron meets Damien

The blogsphere’s exorcist has another take on it

Well Hung

The three main parties are depriving voters of an "informed choice" by failing to give details of how they will tackle the deficit.

"For the voters to be able to make an informed choice in this election, the parties need to explain clearly how they would go about" Robert Chote, Director (IFS) Institute for Fiscal Studies



The IFS say, the Labour party manifesto pledges show that the party needs to find annual savings of £47 billion by the financial year ending March 2015. The corresponding figure for the Conservative Party is £59.4 billion, The Liberal Democrats would need to find £42.7 billion by 2014/15.

So chaps...how are you going to do it?

"O Solo Mio"

It's now or never

Political Fable

One day, a yellow scorpion was walking along a river bank, wondering how to get to the other side.

All of a sudden the yellow scorpion saw a fox.

He asked the fox to take him on his back across the river.
The fox said, “No, If I do that, you'll sting me and I will drown.”

The scorpion assured the fox, “If I was to sting you, we would both drown.”

The fox thought about it and finally agreed and the yellow scorpion climbed up on the foxes back. The fox began to swim... but.... halfway across the river, the yellow scorpion stung the fox.

As the poison filled his veins, the fox turned to the scorpion and said, “Why did you do that? You know that we will both drown.”

“I couldn't help it,” said the yellow scorpion. “It is my nature.” I 'vote' Liberal Democrat.

HUNG Parliament

sick election poster
(hattip another man on the dole)

Whats up with this

read about it at Whats up with that

Arshole for Carlisle

The next hustings is at 7pm on Thursday April 29 at the University of Cumbria’s Learning Gateway in Fusehill Street.

The Riddle of the Sphincter

In mythology, the Sphincter sat in Brussels and asked this riddle of all who passed by. If the they failed to solve the riddle, then the Sphincter killed him/her. And if the passerby answered the riddle correctly, then the Sphincter would destroy itself.
The riddle:

"What is worth five times more in the morning, three in the afternoon and two at night?".

Oedipus Papandreou solved the riddle.

The Leaders' Debate

Elephant in the room

(click to make bigger)

Hockey sticks from little acorns grow

To read more Click here

Quando Quango

Tell me when we'll fly again
Quango, Quango, Quango.



NATS says it is maintaining close dialogue with the Met Office and with the CAA with respect to the Eurocontrol's interpretation of the ICAO restrictions to the use of UK airspace.

Quando, quando, quando.

Volcanic barbecue

The Met Office will continue to produce computer model forecasts of the Iceland volcanic ash cloud. read more here

Deal or no Deal

News in a Japanese style

It was the news today...a leader with a penchant for poetry...I resist a piss take.

Not

charisma of a damp rag
bank clerk with an IQ for haiku
el Presidente Herman Van Rompuy.


Anyone can string one together
five words seven words and then five
your European don't you know.

In Search of the Perfect Loaf

Thursday 15 April 9:00pm - 10:00pm BBC4

Documentary which follows baker Tom Herbert in his search to bake a loaf which will win him first prize at the National Organic Food Awards. Tom's family have been baking bread in the Cotswolds for five generations and Tom continues to win awards for the firm, Hobbs House Bakery. His quest takes him to Cornwall to learn how our ancestors might have baked bread, he meets a leading authority on the history of bread and visits Brackman's Jewish bakery in Salford to learns how to make challah.

Compare the Merecrap.con

Tomorrows leadership debate will be a focus for an unprecedented level of online activity. The three main parties are competing to make sure they get one simple message out.



Have I got news for you.

We are not simpletons.

Liberal Democrats Manifeso

Conservative Party Manifesto

Except

Competition, Trade, Asylum and Immigration, Foreign Affairs, Industrial Policy, Agriculture, Fisheries, Energy, Transport, Regional Government, Consumer Health, Social and Employment Policy, Justice and Home Affairs.

For all of the above are European Union Competence's which the British Government have signed away.

And although the NHS, is not a European Union competence, it is neither the sole competence of the Westminster Parliament.

Spoofs

MyLabourPoster: Spoofs of Labour's manifesto cover

Manifesto Pledges

Speaking on behalf of the Prime Minister at Brighton County Court, Miss Cecelia Ivimy, Gordon Brown's legal representative, said that "manifesto pledges are not subject to legitimate expectation."

The real 'cancer' in our society

Labour hit by cancer leaflet row

Polish president dead...

However, Poland's real Government, the European Union sent a message of support to it's ex communist citizens over the sudden death of its puppet leader Lech Kaczysnki who died in a plane crash today.

Supreme president Herman van Rompuy has ordered Flags of the EU institutions in Poland's capital Brussels to fly at half-mast.
(Sikorski press agency)

History of the World in 101 Objects

A History of the World in 101 Objects is a joint project of the left leaning BBC, the British Museum and the Blogsphere, comprising of a 100-part radio and one blogpost written and presented by British Museum director Neil MacGregor and a one off blogger Anoneumouse.



The programme, described as "a landmark project", is billed as 'A history of humanity' told through a hundred and one objects from all over the world which can be found in the British Museum's collection.

Back of an Envelope

Dizzy has it all HERE.

All hands to the pump

Greek assets took a battering today after newspaper reports cast doubt on Greece's ability to make it through an April/May redemption period without turning to an EU/IMF bailout.



EU President Herman Van Rompuy conceded has that the Greek government faces difficult circumstances.

You can't polish a turd

But you can roll it in glitter

News story sets the agenda

The worst kept secret

But after 12 hrs, where are the manifestoes?

http://www.conservatives.com/

http://www2.labour.org.uk/home

http://www.libdems.org.uk/

Election Concern

The End is Nigh

Oy vey

The Rev Raniero Cantalamessa, Benedict' XVI’s personal preacher has compared criticism of the Pope over the Catholic Church child abuse to the "collective violence" suffered by the Jews.



The Jews of Rome eh

Simples

Friday before Easter

PM hails churches as 'Britain's conscience' Good Friday Telegraph

It's Thursday befor Easter

Maundy Thursday, also known as Holy Thursday, Covenant Thursday, Great and Holy Thursday, and Thursday of Mysteries, it is the Christian feast or holy day falling on the Thursday before Easter that commemorates the Last Supper


(click to enlarge)

The Last Supper is a description of the last meal Jesus Christ had with his disciples prior to his arrest and crucifixion.

Jesus was tried... there was no jury

This year is just happens to fall on 'fools' day......