Woman is to blame for global warming

In the beginning, man was happy to wait for the apple to fall from the the tree, crush it, ferment the resultant juice and then sit by the fire outside the cave entrance and drink it. But no, woman had to pick it and eat it.

Not happy with having to bash her mans loin cloth on a rock by a stream or with brushing the cave floor with a bunch of twigs on a stick,, she wanted a whole load of labour saving devices.

This resulted in her man building a fossil fuel burning power station to drive her washing machine, spin dryer, eye level grill,  fan oven, vacuum cleaner, hair dryer, curling tongs and latterly a battery charger.

So what about the car you ask?

Well, she wanted to visit her bloody mother in Inverness.

Politics is not a spectator sport

Debt clearance EU style

It is a slow day in a little Greek Village. The rain is beating down and the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.

On this particular day a rich German tourist is driving through the village, stops at the local hotel and lays a €100 note on the desk, telling the hotel owner he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one to spend the night.

The owner gives him some keys and, as soon as the visitor has walked upstairs, the hotelier grabs the €100 note and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher. The butcher takes the €100 note and runs down the street to repay his debt to the pig farmer. The pig farmer takes the €100 note and heads off to pay his bill at the supplier of feed and fuel.

The guy at the Farmers' Co-op takes the €100 note and runs to pay his drinks bill at the taverna. The publican slips the money along to the local prostitute drinking at the bar, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer him "services" on credit. The hooker then rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill to the hotel owner with the €100 note.

The hotel proprietor then places the €100 note back on the counter so the rich traveller will not suspect anything. At that moment the traveller comes down the stairs, picks up the €100 note, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, pockets the money, and leaves town.

 

No one produced anything. No one earned anything.

 

However, the whole village is now out of debt and looking to the future with a lot more optimism.

 

And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is how the bailout package works!