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Monday, September 26, 2011

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Stock up on the Rice and Beans




Ok Paul, Lentils and Barley

Thursday, September 22, 2011

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School Reunions

Why some people don't attend school reunions . . .

Jan, Sue and Mary haven't seen each other since secondary school. They rediscover each other via a reunion website and arrange to meet for lunch in a wine bar.

Jan arrives first, wearing beige Versace. She orders a bottle of Pinot Grigio.

Sue arrives shortly afterward, in gray Chanel. After the required ritualised kisses she joins Jan in a glass of wine.

Then Mary walks in, wearing a faded old tee-shirt, blue jeans and boots. She too shares the wine.

Jan explains that after leaving school and graduating from Newnham College Cambridge, she met and married Timothy, with whom she has a beautiful daughter. Timothy practices law for Schillings, they live in a 4000 sq ft apartment in Dockside, where Susan, the daughter, attends drama school. They have a second home in Bourton-on-the-Water, Gloucestershire.

Sue relates that after leaving school, she graduated from St Hilda's College, Oxford and became a surgeon. Her husband, Clive, is a leading City investment banker. They live in Surbiton and have a second home in Naples.

Mary explains that she left school at 17 and ran off with her boyfriend, Jim. They run a tropical bird park in the outskirts of Luton and grow their own vegetables. Jim can stand five parrots, side by side, on his dick.

Halfway down the third bottle of wine and several hours later, Jan blurts out that her husband is really an accountant at Asda. They live in a small flat in Whitchapple and have a caravan parked at Hoo St Werburgh.

Sue, chastened and encouraged by her old friend's honesty, explains that she and Clive are both nurses' aides in a retirement home. They live in Guilford and take camping holidays in Bognor Regis.

Mary says that the fifth parrot has to stand on one leg.

Monday, September 19, 2011

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shit shaped, bristol fashion

Google 'Bristol Stool Chart'

poetry in a motion

Sunday, September 18, 2011

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vote Martin Mcguinness for 'precedent'

You wont see this headline on BBC Alba

Don't you just love the english language and the play on words.
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Dick's potatoes


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Tumbrels on Sunday

This is new initiative to be published here every sunday, it has been inspired by the first progress report from the Prime Minister’s “behavioural insight team”, better known as its 'Nudge Unit'

The 'Nudge Unit' is the group of eight civil servants whose job it is to come up with ways of helping us make better choices – without forcing us to do so.

My first Tumbrel is for Chris Huhne



Read about why in the Mail on Sunday

“The stealth levies, introduced to fund Britain’s investment in wind and solar power, are costing families an average of £200 a year – two-thirds of the amount the Cabinet Minister said they should be able to save. This represents an increase of between 15 and 20 per cent on the average domestic power bill. The money is being used to help fund the building of 10,000 wind turbines and the proposed installation of £7 billion worth of smart meters in homes.”

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

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Cameron's Strapon Dildo

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Best Before

French bank ratings downgraded



Moody's cuts Société Générale and Credit Agricole's credit ratings.

Friday, September 09, 2011

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Very Practical Eurosceptic



Wednesday, September 07, 2011

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Gesetz zur Behebung der Not von Volk und Reich

"Law to Remove the Distress of the People and the Reich"

Germany's highest court has ruled that Angela Merkel's controversial decision to contribute billions of euros to the first rescue package of Greece and other fiscally troubled countries last year was not illegal. But the federal constitutional court also decreed that parliament should be more involved in such decisions. AFP

Thursday, September 01, 2011

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Olympics Drops Carbon-Offset Plan



Organisers of the London 2012 Olympic Games dropped a plan to cut carbon emissions during the sporting showcase, abandoning a pledge made when it defeated eight other cities to host the event. Bloomberg
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