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Saturday, May 29, 2010

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Oh dear...giver not taker



LibDem MP for Inverness Danny Alexander has become Chief Secretary to the Treasury after the sudden resignation from the post by David Laws.
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Next



Wind up or a wind-up or just an Eastleigh breeze
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The sting in the arse

"Although we were living together we did not treat each other as spouses - for example we do not share bank accounts and indeed have separate social lives" David Laws



Those were the same grounds upon which my Ex predicated her divorce petition.

At the going down of the sun (he resigns) and in the morning.....

Friday, May 28, 2010

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Leiurus quinquestriatus

Vince Cable who has resigned the deputy leadership of the Lib Dems, citing his heavy workload as Business Secretary. Has some people speculating that this could make it easier for him to walk out of the coalition.



It's no secret he would have preferred to jump into bed with his old pals in the Labour Party.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

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Albus Proboscidea

ID cards to be axed within 100 days‎ saving the country more than £1 billion,

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

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It's a sort of penis envy

Only Socialists think banks are to big to fail.
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In the elephant but not ruled by the elephant

Yesterdays Queen’s Speech made it clear that the UK coalition government is gearing up to push through reform of the Royal Mail in the form of part-privatisation.

The Postal Services Bill, drawn up by the previous Labour government following research and recommendations by Richard Hooper, is to be resurrected as part of a range of bills proposed by the new coalition government.



But here is the real story.

It was back in 2006 that the EU commissioner for the internal market, at the time Charlie McCreevy, told Member State governments across the European Union that they must scrap their monopoly on delivering letters by 2009.

EU Directives for the regulation of Royal Mail

Directive 97/67/EC of the European Parliament and of the Council of 15 December 1997 (came into force in February 1998)

Directive 2002/39/EC of the European Parliament and of the Council of 10 June 2002 amending Directive 97/67/EC

Directive 2008/6/EC of the European Parliament and the Council of 20 February 2008 amending the initial Postal Directive 97/67/EC as amended by Directive 2002/39/EC

Prior to the implementation of the 1997 European Union Directive, the UK postal service sector was governed by the Post Office Acts of 1953 and 1969 and the Telecommunications Act 1981. This legislation set out the responsibilities of the British Government towards postal services and gave the Post Office its powers and duties.

The Postal Services Act 2000 (PSA) implemented the 1997 European Union Directive in the UK. Statutory Instrument 2002 No. 3050 amended the PSA to take account of the changes required by the 2002 European Union Directive.

Monday, May 24, 2010

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Plenty of smoke but they forgot the mirror

Today's cuts of £6.25billion announced by the Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne amounts to less than £4billion in real terms.



For it should be remembered, that thanks to Tony Blair and Gordon Brown our European rebate was renegotiated and this year our net contribution to the European Union will rise by 60 per cent, from £4.2 billion to £6.4 billion.

Everyone knows the one about the constipated mathematician who worked it out with a pencil.

But have you heard the one about constipated Chancellor of the Exchequer, who couldn't budget?
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Two and two is four again

Vince Cable's Business Department will bear the brunt of £6bn in cuts outlined for today as the coalition makes its first moves on the deficit.



The Business Secretary has agreed to find £900m in savings over the next nine months. He is expected to axe regional development agencies in the South, quangos and some of the last-minute grants and loans extended by his predecessor, Lord Mandelson.

Friday, May 21, 2010

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What is the colour of a British revolution?

Answer on a post it note!
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They killed the Quattro



The total UK personal debt at the end of March 2010 stood at £1,460bn. The twelve-month growth was 0.9%. Individuals owe more than what the whole country produces in a year.

Total lending in March 2010 rose by £0.6bn; secured lending increased by £0.3bn in the month; consumer credit lending increased by £0.3bn (total lending in Jan 2008 grew by £8.4bn).

Total secured lending on dwellings at the end of March 2010 stood at £1,239bn. The twelve-month growth rate was 1.0%.

Total consumer credit lending to individuals at the end of March 2010 was £222bn. The annual growth rate of consumer credit was 0.4%.

Average household debt in the UK is ~ £8,796 (excluding mortgages). This figure increases to £18,324 if the average is based on the number of households who actually have some form of unsecured loan.

Average household debt in the UK is ~ £57,950 (including mortgages).
If you add to this the March 2010 budget report figure for public sector net debt (PSND) expected in 2014-15 (excluding financial interventions) then this figure rises to £113,742 per household.

Average owed (non government) by every UK adult is ~ £30,258 (including mortgages).
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Alcohol...minimum pricing

Walk into a bar in parliament and you can buy a pint of Foster's for £2.10. That's a little over half as much as in a normal London pub.

If minimum pricing for alcohol is to start anywhere then it should be set to the level of the Houses of Parliament.

And then it should look at it from a regional perspective (localism), the starting point should be the various Liberal, Labour and Conservative Clubs around the country.

In fact our local Conservative Club buys it's wine from NETTO and charges Tesco prices.

By the way, NETTO doesn't do loss leaders.

However, I have a sneaking suspicion that this coalition government has a 'Lost Leader'.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

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Is the development of 'synthetic life' the cause of global warming?

What dose it breath, what dose it exhale?

Don't misunderstand me. What Dr Venter has done is incredible science. I've already heard it described as Nobel prize-winning, "landmark", work.

But there is always an element of razzmatazz surrounding Dr Venter's research that makes it harder to sift fact from hype.
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Neuhaus or Renault

I have 3 euros and 45 cents in the purse section of my wallet.

I am wondering if I should convert it into pounds and buy a bar of Neuhaus chocolate or just write it off and forget about saving up for a Renault Clito.
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Oh Dear


Tuesday, May 18, 2010

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Balls to stand

Ed Balls the former Children's Secretary and one of the Labour government Ministers who signed off dodgy contracts in the last 5 months; is to announce tomorrow that he is standing for the Labour leadership.



David and Ed Miliband have already declared they are in the running. Andy Burnham, the former Health Secretary is also expected to stand.

Monday, May 17, 2010

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Lessons learned

Did the sun actually melt the wax on Icarus' wings?

or was it down to the ash from the Minoan eruption?

Answer on a post card Met Office



Any bull gives you wings

Thursday, May 13, 2010

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Miliband Brothers



Labour leadership contender David Miliband has insisted "brotherly love will survive" if his younger sibling Ed decides to take him on for the job.

Monday, May 10, 2010

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Political Fable II

One day, a yellow scorpion was walking along a river bank, wondering how to get to the other side.

All of a sudden the yellow scorpion saw a fox.

He asked the fox to take him on his back across the river.
The fox said, “No, If I do that, you'll sting me and I will drown.”

The scorpion assured the fox, “If I was to sting you, we would both drown.”

The fox thought about it and finally agreed and the yellow scorpion climbed up on the foxes back. The fox began to swim... but.... halfway across the river, the yellow scorpion stung the fox.

As the poison filled his veins, the fox turned to the scorpion and said, “Why did you do that? You know that we will both drown.”

“I couldn't help it,” said the yellow scorpion. “It is my nature.” I am a Liberal Democrat.
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Social Democrats....coming home



The Social Democrats have launched their latest political putsch pledging "we know not what but whatever, it is, we will get it some how"

The Slimehouse Declaration

Standing outside No 10 Downing Street, Gordon Brown announced tonight that he is to step down as leader of the Labour party but wants to remain as Prime Minister for a few more months as part of a coalition deal with the Liberal Democrats.

Read between the lines.....you dont have to be the leader of a party to be Prime Minister. (it's just a convention, not law)

Sunday, May 09, 2010

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The moonlight flit

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The orange grove coalition

Saturday, May 08, 2010

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Shoulder to shoulder in Whitehall



Quick question

In exchange for Gleggs support, will David Cameron support the LibDems manifesto promise to hold a European Union IN/OUT Referendum?

Friday, May 07, 2010

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"political poker"


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It's well hung


Thursday, May 06, 2010

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The Iraq, Afghan, New Labour effect.

It must be all down to Global Warming a sort of climate change

We are now a third word economy with a third world voting system.

I am now off to my first world bed.

BUT FOR HOW LONG
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I have done the dirty deed



In fact there was a queue of 25 people at the local polling station at 7am.

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

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The Three Horse Race


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Nothing to see here, move along



A secret campaign to replace Gordon Brown with David Miliband is reportedly being waged by Peter Mandelson. Metro
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13 Years of Labour

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

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Return of the Lisbon Treaty

David Cameron faces a Lisbon Treaty crisis



A new Conservative government would come under intense pressure to give Britain a referendum on the Lisbon Treaty following an amendment to the EU’s legal framework this summer.
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testicles voting

Ed Balls has indicated that Labour voters in some marginal seats should back the Liberal Democrats to stop the Conservatives winning the General Election.



The Children's Secretary's comments are the most significant sign yet that Labour is resigned to a collapse in its vote on Thursday.

Monday, May 03, 2010

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The People vs. Brown

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Match Fixing

Sunday, May 02, 2010

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How much....the ferryman?

In Greek mythology, Charon is the ferryman of Hell who carries souls of the newly deceased across the rivers Styx that divides the world of the living from the world of the dead. A coin to pay Charon for passage, was placed in the mouth of the dead



George Papandreou has refused to disclose exact details of the deal which has been agreed by the 16 nations using the euro but warned that it will require "major sacrifices".

Saturday, May 01, 2010

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EYPO, EWRO, EURAS, EVRO, EIRO, EURO



Now this is not the omega. It is not even the alfa of the omega. but it is, perhaps, the omega of the alfa.
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